Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
