is your mom at the bar?
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
