i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
time to smoke my breakfast
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
