well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
