You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
