u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
