So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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