But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
