Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
