I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
