Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
