I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
