I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
