remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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