I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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