this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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