I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
