dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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