Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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