Yo dont text me then not text me
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
