that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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