this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You may now shotgun with the bride
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
