Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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