i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
