dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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