you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
