Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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