You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
