Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I forget how to act sober
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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