this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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