I got chris browned last night
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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