Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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