dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
