My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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