I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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