I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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