Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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