its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
