You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
