If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
