It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
