My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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