Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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