A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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