It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
