Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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