I am in a vortex of obligation.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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