you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
