Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
