I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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