so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
