you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
