i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
