A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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