All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
