Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
