the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
