I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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