lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
