is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
