If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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