Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
