I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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