So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
