make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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